The first time we saw our beautiful boy..

After those 6 long hours we were finally taken down to nicu to meet our beautiful son. The walk down seemed so long and so daunting even though I’d walked in the same hallway before I had him. It was oddly quiet too.

Once outside the doors of nicu the midwife buzzed us in and went through the hygiene routine and tour of the entrance. I still remember it so clearly : coats go in the room on the right , wash hands throughly , dry them and use hand sanitiser. This was the most important part about entering nicu because dirty hands were so dangerous.

Once all that was out of the way we finally got taken to our boy. He was in room B which was intensive care and up the other end was high dependency. As we walked in all the staff were lovely and congratulated us on the birth. Blue was in incubator space 3. I remember seeing all the machines and breathing support around his incubator.

The nurse lifted the blanket off the incubator and there he was, our tiny 2lbs 7oz fragile little boy. He had a ventilator tube ,feeding tube, iv lines in his belly button, heart monitors , a cannula and jaundice lamp. It was terrifying to see him like that, we could only look at him because his skin was transparent and super sensitive. I remember crying for a good half hour because it was the biggest shock to the system seeing him like that.

His daddy couldn’t believe what he was seeing either. We both sat there for a few hours just taking everything in, asking questions about his care and just trying to process the situation. Thankfully we were staying up on the ward so at anytime we could go down and spend time with him. I also started expressing straightaway so he could have colostrum asap. I’ll be writing more about my expressing experience in another post.

We must have gone to see him about 20 times that day because we wanted him to know we were there.

Until next time…

Blue’s Mummy.

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